Keep on Keeping on

It happens sometime  you meet very special people. You know, the kind of people that make you forget yourself for a minute, well not a minute literally. This person makes you forget about 9GAG, Buzzfeed for me. You text them all the time, you just want to talk to them because they are the most awesome and greatest humans created in their time.

Then after a while you are left. The person who made you abandon Buzzfeed goes cold, goes MIA. They stop texting, and you stop calling because honestly, you were the only one calling unless they were returning your missed call.  A day later.

Then it hits you that probably you should have never dumped Buzzfeed. Buzzfeed is like your partner in crime. Buzzfeed is like the desperate girl who had a crush on you and since primary school, say class four? She will never move on , she will always wait for you to come to her. It is sticky when you do not come back, or she moves on by the time you are back. In this case Buzzfeed doesn`t have funds to run or it has been hacked, which is still very unlikely because some PE just pumped in money.
You now camp there day in day out. You take the Buzzfeed quizzes religiously and share in every social media platform you have signed up.

You even take the screenshots of the results and put them as your display picture on WhatsApp. Because of why? You are trying to make up carefully and tactfully so she does not crash and you have to reinstall again. Unfortunately, she is mad. Your bundles are on fire, unless of course you have WiFi at home and use R.O.G Matatus to town.
Is it true though that R.O.G Matatus are the only ones in Nairobi with free WiFi?

Then one of those days on Buzzfeed you remember you had a blog that you used to write about girls (giggles). Then there you are. You want to write how you are a horrible person. How you turn off people (Is it not  funny though, they turn you on and you turn them off?- such an unfair universe). You tell this to your friends quite often  and they try to convince you that you are not but deep inside you know better, you know best. You are a socially awkward person and cannot keep a good moment going on for five seconds.

Because lets face it,  why would a girl you have been chasing for a year be your girlfriend on Saturday and dump you on Sunday? Hehe!! Aki this life man.
But then you are a grown man. You know this because why else would your brother be asking you for pocket money every Friday? And bundles everyday? This is so scary but what can a man do? You are grown.

You cannot ask your mum for money. Unless your brother has asked for some bailing out and you need bailing too. So you ask for a bailout from your mother and this is how it goes.

"Mum I need some cash for bro and I juu sijalipwa bado"

"Nitatumia ndugu yako wewe utangoja kiasi"

"Mum I need money juu ata kesho naenda church."

"Na hua unatoa tithe?"

"Bado, but nitaanza. Mum sasa nitasurvive aje?"

"Mimi sijui, mungu ndio anajua."

You know this is funny and you laugh and forget you are broke for a minute but she does not berge, she is as serious as Sossion, you can read from her lips. You leave for Saturday errands because God knows and God never lets you down.

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You go to class and you really enjoy the classes because nothing really turns you on like new knowledge. In class people  say you have changed because you don`t hang out with them. Hehe! This is funny because it`s not that you don`t want to, you just do not have money, that money is someone`s upkeep these days.

You go home to finish some series you were watching and Alas! You find mum has left you some cash, because she is who she is, she is mum.

So this post goes out to you out there. You find yourself alone most of the time. You think you do not have a social life. Everyone has opinions about you. Do they matter? Is that your identity? I don`t know man.
You may not have discovered yourself yet, you are learning and observing. It feels like you are trying to balance life on a plate but you have
shaky hands. Do not be afraid because at some point time it will fall. You just have to kneel down put the pieces together and carry on.

You have to keep on keeping on.