Sorry guys, I know you have been waiting for this post all night, it is just that I was talking to someone, my girl, yes I have a girlfriend and she was telling me that she is pregnant, I just had to attend to that urgent matter first. Hahaha! Okay I'm kidding but I was talking to her, and I had to keep telling her goodnight all through the past hour so that she can finally let go, and yes again I have that magnetic effect. And for the record, baby if you read this, it is just for the Page views, it has nothing to do with us. I love you always *winks*.
There was this awesome lady in her late 20s back in the days, she's about 40 right now. She had 3 kids the last of them was about 3 a girl. She was married or not, yes she was married to a man who yet does not qualify to be called one. I always tend to think he shaped the way I look at relationships and marriage as a whole, don't get me wrong though, I respect marriage and any kind of relationship.
So with this man, who I had a very very short opportunity to call dad or daddy, I can't remember how I used to call him. I can only remember few memories I share with him in my childhood days, 13 years is a very long time don't you think, a whole decade with 3 whole years and still counting!
I remember this one time he came home from work (he travelled frequently by the way) and I ran towards him like any sane child would do because he misses the father, his reaction I remember correctly was he hit me with a camera he had bought. I don't know what happens after that but mum tells me it was nasty between them.
The second one I remember was this day daddy or dad had taken me out to some of his pals, when he was brought a glass with something inside, I thought it was water, it was bitter, bitter water.
The last and certainly the least (he could do for a firstborn son) was when he bought me a bike. I still remember it till today. I see it when I visit grandma's it is still in her store hanging in there, literally. And grandma you always said you will give me money to repair the bike, you still owe me.
The bike was the last thing I ever got from dad, daddy. Well at least I got that, my bro and sis and mum have nothing to show from him, does it matter now, it has been 13 years, the bike is still relevant.
The details towards the separation of my parents is sketchy but from what I know he was abusive and violent, irresponsible and a lot too many kids with significant others.
Mum did well by taking us from that man it would have been awful if we turned out to be like him. Mum brought us well and everyday she struggles to make us better people, people of substance. Big up mum, won't let you down.
Why does it happen that men, sometimes women neglect their families, they betray their families?
Poligamy has been the subject of discussion this week, at least it was in radio yesterday morning and the previous night on the-after news debate.
Several things came out clear ; that the African(Kenyan) man is polygamous in nature. He always has the other woman be it clandestine girlfriend or a second or third wife. This is true. I have had experience with married friends who have girlfriends and, or have children out of the wedlock.
One peculiar case was a man who had two wives and none of them had a clue of what was happening for a whole 24 years. I was shocked too.
Can I say about my dad? I think he had a "someone" in every town between Kitale and Nairobi and in some towns he had more than 2, and he used to bring some of them home too, those who would appear to resemble him or his sister, at least we were told "huyu ni auntie" , " this is your auntie".
Another thing which came up was that;it is always about the woman. It is the second woman being lied to and the first wife loosing significance. The marriage bill signed by the president earlier in the year did very little or nothing at all, which you can read here, in creating partiality in polygamous marriages, but what it did was setting the ground rules, which is what we need in eliminating stigma in many moral issues here in Africa.
Issues such as prostitution, abortion and gay marriages need to follow suit. Eliminating stigma will make things safer and secure because monitoring will be easier, ground rules.
If the marriage bill was present at the time my parents were separating we wouldn't have suffered as much as we did. But we made it though.
This post was meant to be about about my mum, I got carried away. We'll still talk about her. We do this again tomorrow night. Be safe.
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